omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
