And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
