True but thats because hes a fetus.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
