dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
