make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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