thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize