Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
