Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
