The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize