Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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