i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
