oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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