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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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