I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
