Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
