Cold hands, warm shart.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
