Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
