sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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