oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
