I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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