when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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