Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
