And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Come share oat with me in your robe
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
