The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
