I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
