i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize