weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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