I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
As shirtless as possible
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
