evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
