you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
