Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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