I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
