I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
