So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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