can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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