I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
