kristin has been a bad kristin
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
