is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
