Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize