So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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