i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
