Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
