He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
