Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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