All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
