I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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