So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
