So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I woke up under a house in Key West
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
