I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
