This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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