a queef is a wish your heart makes.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
