Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
In other news, I just burned my penis
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
