He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Dick very happy bro
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
