he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize