so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Redeem this text for a blowjob
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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