im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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