I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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