Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
im six kinds of drunk right now
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
