Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
