no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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