btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
