If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
