Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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