WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize