Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
