tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
