ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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