i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
