I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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