i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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