I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
it was like eating out sand paper
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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