If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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