I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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