Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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